J.K. Rowlings new novel is said to be the best fiction writing since George Osbournes Budget

The double standards of book censorship amazes me. Basically the same book has been banned and then released again.
'Madeleine: The Book' hits shelves this week but yet 'If I Did It' by OJ Simpson gets banned on it's first release.
Hypocrites.

Feeling depressed? Life not going how you wanted it to and its noticeable by the tone in your voice?
Why not make a living narrating audiobooks.

Quick money making: Sell dictionaries to the Yanks, but call them "crossword answers".

I just sold my old Snow White book for 15 quid.
That really is a fair retail story!

I took a friend to the book store with me today.
I wanted a book on self confidence and my luck was in, he managed to get one for me.

I was fired from my job as a proof reader.
They gave me the McCanns book, I couldn't find any.

Shakespeare is credited with the invention of hundreds of new words, which just goes to show that monkeys make terrible proofreaders.

I went out and bought a book today and flicked to the back page.
So to all you dirty little women reading that dirty little book out there.
She kills him at the end.

Susan Boyle has released her new autobiographical erotic book, so far its been critically panned for obvious reasons.
It's called "50 shaves a day"

Just finished 50 shades of pink. Its a true story about a man, his washing machine and an elusive red sock.

Anyone else see the flaw in "Sickipedia book American Version now available" ...

I heard someone say "You can't be a true Harry Potter fan, unless you've read the books."
Here's an idea: why don't we start calling the people who read the books 'Pure-bloods' and the people who only saw the films 'mud-bloods'.

Which John Milton novel is about why he can't play Monopoly any more?
Pair o' dice lost

So they're making a 50 Shades Of Grey Movie? I'd hate to be the guy mopping the cinema floor after that shows.

A recent survey of women who read 50 Shades Of Gray. Most read it with their fingers

I got fed up with all this unwritten rules nonsense.
So i published a book.
It's called Rules.

If I was an author I'd write books for kids.
Smaller audience.

Can anybody think of a different word for thesaurus?
Hang on, let me just check my onomasticon.

i've just finished reading a book about a well-loved but ill dog, it was really hard to put it down

That Jeffrey Archer looks like he's got a temper on him.
I'd hate to be in his bad books.

I wrote a book on coffee.
Without it I would never have met the deadline.

Just been reading a book which, apparently, is all the rage, about a girl who cheats in her A level exams to achieve higher marks. Boring! Can't see what all the fuss is about 'Shifty Grades of Faye'!

I've just been reading a book that conclusively proves that future comes before past.
It's called The Oxford English dictionary.

I'm being a thoughtful husband and buying my wife the audio version of Fifty shades of grey, that'll mean she has both hands free to pleasure herself.
By finishing the ironing.