Just been reading a book which, apparently, is all the rage, about a girl who cheats in her A level exams to achieve higher marks. Boring! Can't see what all the fuss is about 'Shifty Grades of Faye'!

I wrote a book on coffee.
Without it I would never have met the deadline.

That Jeffrey Archer looks like he's got a temper on him.
I'd hate to be in his bad books.

i've just finished reading a book about a well-loved but ill dog, it was really hard to put it down

Can anybody think of a different word for thesaurus?
Hang on, let me just check my onomasticon.

If I was an author I'd write books for kids.
Smaller audience.

The last Harry Potter film was so predictable.
I could read it like a book!

I'm really not looking forward to having to tell my friend that he's not been chosen to play the prince in my upcoming production of Snow White.
He's going to be Grumpy.

My girlfriend has left me because I spend all my time reading ebooks.
I dont want to lose my relationship so I am hoping to re-kindle it.

Before I go to sleep I always do some light reading. It's a lot easier than dark reading.

A Man walks into a library and asks for a book on Bandwagon's
He Jumped on it

A friend told me "50 Shades of Grey is a great way to silence your wife". So i bought a copy and beat her to death with it.............

I spent a few hours in The Red Room of Pain last week,
queuing in the Post Office for my road tax.

I joined my mates in the pub to find them going on about elves, wizards and hobbits.
I have no idea what they're Tolkien about.

Just finished reading the girl who kicked the hornets nest,it wasn't that good but the part were she got stung to death was hilarious.

Mr Samuel Johnston had just published the first proper English dictionary. A grand lady congratulated him for not including curse words. "Ah, " replied Johnston, "You have been looking for them, I presume."

Ever notice how Voldemort has a diary, necklace, ring, tiara and an obsession with a famous teenage boy? No one but me finds this awkward, apparently.

I got angry when my girlfriend wouldn't tell me about the book she was reading.
I beat 50 shades of grey out of her.

I've just started reading a book called "Jokes for Dummies."
Chapter 1 : Learning ventriloquism.

I've got a book coming out soon.
I shouldn't have eaten it, really.

My wife came to me the other day after finishing 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and suggested we take some inspiration from the book in our relationship.
"Absolutely! I'd love to." I replied excitedly, relishing the opportunity.
Im not sure it was what she had in mind when I wrote all over her, bound her and sold her on the highstreet to a mug for 7.99.

I've been saying I will make a dictionary the same height as me by the end of the month.
With the deadline approaching my family think i'm going to give up, but i'll stand by my words.

I bought a book on double entendres but it was so big and hard, the postman couldn't get it in my box.

I was reading a scary book today but it kept trying to get away from me.
Spineless git.

I've written a book on how to deal with rejection...
Unfortunately I couldn't find anybody willing to publish it, so tonight I'm going to kill all of my family and friends and then jump in front of a train.