My brother has just set fire to one of my Mr Men books.
No more Mr Nice Guy.

Newcastle v Reading today.
Newcastle don't stand a chance; Geordies have never seen a book never mind read one.

I've just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.
It started off badly but, by the end, I really liked it.

My mate finally finished writing his book about cooking with herbs. It's about thyme.

I walked into Waterstones and asked, "Do you have any books on 'How to stop impulse buying'?"
"Yes we do."
"Excellent. I'll take seventeen copies please."

Hopefully I've got a book coming out soon.
Admittedly, I don't think I should have eaten it in the first place.

My friend recommended a book to me.
She said it was a real page turner.
I was like, "yeah, I know how books work."

J K Rowling is planning two Harry Potter sequels where he re-enters the world of the Muggles:
Harry Potter & the Tuition Fees of Inaffordability
Harry Potter and the Unclimbable Housing Ladder

I commute a lot, so I bought one of those new Apple iPads so I can read virtual books on long journeys.
It's brilliant, it's just like reading a normal book except it runs out of batteries and it gives me a migraine.

I found thousands of letters in my postbox today.
That's the last time I order a dictionary from IKEA.

I love my collection of Sat-Nav's and map books, I'd be lost without them.

I'm reading a book on helium at the moment.
I'm having trouble putting it down.

I've nearly finished writing my book about finding the perfect way to stab someone.
All it needs is a surprise twist at the end.

Anyone else think that the Harry Potter series would have been much more entertaining if, after seven books and over a million words, the concluding sentence was:
"...and that, your honour, is how three children in wizard outifts ended up in my cellar."

I started reading a book about a giant dog with super powers.
It's basically impossible to put down.

Details have been released of the film version of the best-selling book '50 Shades of Grey'. The film will star James Spader & Maggie Gyllenhall, is to be called 'Secretary' and will be made 10 years ago.

I've just taken up speed reading. Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds.
I know it's only 3 words but it's a start!

I went to the book store earlier to buy a 'Where's Wally' book. When I got there, I couldn't find the book anywhere.
Well played Wally, well played.

Man goes into a library and asks for a book about French War Heroes.
The librarian tells him to try the fiction section.

I got banned from Waterstones today for moving all the 'Caution - Wet Floor' signs to the '50 Shades of Grey' shelf.

Breaking News: Archaeologists digging at the site of Shakespeare's house have uncovered thousands of monkey skeletons.

I've just published a book on DIY.
It's blank and comes with a free pen.

I ordered a joke book off Amazon last week.... but I didn't get it.

Our new librarian is very polite. I think she is Italian.
I've just taken a book back that was months overdue but, rather than charging me, she just said, "That's-a-fine."
So I thanked her and walked out.

My mate just stole my Thesaurus.
Frankly, I'm lost for words.