People in work think I'm weird because I told them that I think babies smell nice.
I didn't even get the chance to add "after 3 hours at 150 degrees."

I was sat with a tribe of cannibals when the chief's daughter gave me the eye.
I would have preferred a leg.

BBC News: Officials seek ways to double the number of tigers in the world.
Just cut them in half.

A word of advice, never accept a cup of Joe from a cannibal

It was when I made sausages on my work experience, that I vowed never again to work in a cannibal's butchers shop.
What a way to make ends meat.

Me and my mate spitroasted this brilliant girl the other day.
she cooked well, and tasted delicious.

My wife refuses to cook.
I probably need to turn the oven up.

If I ever met a cannibal, I'd give him a piece of my mind

I just can't wait to see the look on the faces of the families when the rescue starts at the Chilean mine and they realise that there's just one, very fat miner left down there.

My wife makes a nice sandwich.
Next I think I'll eat the mother-in-law.

I don't mind a Chinese, but I couldn't eat a full one though.

Did you hear about the cannibals who decided to make a stew?
They all had a hand in it.

I find it hard to eat my five vegetables a day.
Mongs are so hard to find these days.

Once, we got seriously lost on a holiday, and eventually even had to resort to cannibalism to survive.
It was tough, but our choices were either that or McDonalds.

I always give my dog leftover bones from my dinner for him to chew on.
As well as being a tasty snack, it also removes any last bit of DNA from the person they came from.

I've just opened a Cannibal themed restaurant.
We would love to have you for dinner.

I was sitting amoung a tribe of cannibals when one handed me a plate full of human digits.
It was a finger buffet.

Nothing beats the taste of freshly baked cakes in the oven

Two cannibals are having dinner.
"Your wife makes a great roast," one of them says.
"I know,' the other replies, "but I sure am going to miss her."

My wifes been cooking for just over an hour now.
It serves her right for marrying an cannibal.

I just got the new ginger version of Facebook today.
It's exactly the same but it removes all the friends options.

I was always told to eat my vegetables.
I still can't get my wife's screams out of my head as I tucked into our paraplegic son, Johnny.

I'm personally neither for nor against abortion.
But if one ever got offered to me on a plate I wouldn't turn it down.

I think I've had enough of my girlfriend.
At least there is enough left for sandwiches tomorrow.

I bought a car off a cannibal earlier and got ripped off. Cost me an arm and a leg.