A charity worker stopped me as I came out of Tesco today.
She said, "Would you like to make a donation for Orphaned children?"
I said, "Yeah, why not. I've got a spare few quid in my jeans."
She said, "Thanks, your money will make a great difference in Africa."
I said, "My jeans are in the car, wait there, I'll just go and get them."

So i hear Jessie J will be performing for Children In Need this year with her hit Pricetag.
Well if its not about the money they wont mind me not donating this year then.

I had a cancer scare yesterday.
A woman with a collection tin came towards me, fortunately I managed to cross the road before she got to me.

I am ashamed to say that whilst watching Comic Relief last night, I found myself compelled to switch channels every time the side splitting humour was interrupted by the desperate black man trying to eke out a meagre existence.
Lenny Henry, give it a rest next year.

My job at the BBC is inviting guests onto our shows
I sent an E-Mail to my "Celeb" group
"Children In Need, are you available?"
Instantly Gary Glitter replied
"Id love to come on Children In Need again"

Just saw that NSPCC advert, the one were it shows a young black kid looking threw a bin bag for food.
Poor thing.....Must be a terrible life,yano, not being smart enough to look in the fridge.

A friend of mine just updated her Facebook status to read: "Comic relief is starting, I should go get some tissues"
"I already have mine" I commented back.
She replied with "I didn't know this kind of thing upset you so much"
"It doesn't"

Save on the cost of a Comic Relief red nose by using the same one from last year.

Am I the only one who thinks it's a bit suspicious that if you send money via post to Children In Need, it needs to be sent to Liverpool?

I noticed a charity box at work the other day with packets of sweets in. It was in aid for the Great Ormond St. Hospital Trust, and I also noticed the message "Please consider the children this Christmas" was written on it.
So I nicked a couple of packets for the kids at home.

I went to the comic relief last night, and after realising this was a once in a life time opportunity i reached over, put my hands down and stroked the red carpet a couple of times. I don't think Ann Robinson was too pleased though.

Is it just me that thinks asking children to 'do something funny for money' is immensely inappropriate?

It's good of Sky to support comic relief.
They keep putting a little red nose in the corner of the screen.

BBC Children In Need - "There are disabled children in every corner of the country needing your help!"
Just because they are disabled don't mean you should put them in a the corner! Thats not right!

Watching sport relief and i see there is a lot about Adrian Chiles Shaving off his beard. In my opinion this isn't that big a deal, I mean its not like he has much of one anyway. What I'd really like to see would be a muslim shaving off his beard. Now that would actually be worth something..

Stood outside Tesco with sign saying 'Help for Heroes'; in 15 minutes I had enough money for a box of them and some Quality Street.

If Children In Need really did make a difference then I doubt we would need to keep having it every year.

Children in need... A polite way of being asked "give me your money" by black kids

Haha, one of my colleagues has just come to work dressed as a woman for Children In Need. Congratulations, that was a very brave thing to do, Karen.

I try to donate to charity, but they keep bringing my kids back.

I'm sick of watching films of ill Africans followed by the money rising. Can we see a body count?

Isn't it a bit ironic how they're trying to get us to slob around in front of the TV to watch sport relief?

If there's one thing Comic Relief has taught me tonight.
I need to get out more.

I just had a leaflet posted through my door inviting me to what sounds like a very prestigious annual fashion event.
Third World Clothing Collection is on Tuesday.

Just bought a bottle of water and there was an interesting charity message on the side;
"One billion people in the world don't have access to clean drinking water. You can change this. One person, one day at a time."
I don't know about you guys, but I haven't got a billion days to spare...