"100 million Facebook users' data published"
I don't see what the fuss is about; if you go on sickipedia you can read their facebook status' first hand.

Facebook E-Mail: Same as the average e-mail except you can't remove Zuckerburg from the CC list and your e-mails are viewable by the world the day they decide to change the Facebook security options

A friend of mine said she was going to spend the day "Just lolling around the house"
I couldn't see what she found so funny.

I was in my hotel room and couldn't get a signal on my mobile, so I went down to the lobby.
They've got reception there.

All my mates keep laughing at me because i'm on a Pay-As-You-Go mobile phone.
So i took out a contract.........And got them killed.

So I'm in JFK airport with my 3 kids Alex, Kyle and Ida. They all go missing whilst going security and I start to panic.
So I ask if I can use the tannoy to call out for them....
very innocently I shout out "AL-KY-IDA"
I dont remember much of what happened next....

My mate rang me and asked "What are you up to?"
"Nothing much," I replied "I'm just sitting here in a lecture about mobile phone etiquette. So, how was your weekend, mate?"

I just rang the halifax bank and got a message saying that due to adverse weather conditions they are short on staff and it may take longer than normal to answer my call. I didn't even know it could snow in India?

I bought at Enigma machine off eBay last week.
I'm still trying to work the instructions out.

Created a group on facebook last year - the "Fear of commitment club"...
Can't figure out why its still got no members...

Now I use facebook, I think that since I left school they must teach girls to use an 'x' instead of a full stop.

Apple really aren't being very original with their technology.
There was the iPod, a revolutionary product that changes the world of music but all they've done since is whack a phone on it and make it bigger...
Maybe they should come up with a new iDeer.

I've been bombarded with dirty picture messages and kinky texts all morning.
It's all well and good, but this is my mums phone.

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

The other day I was browsing the forums!
Some one was excited about being able to Google their user name and it would bring up said name and Sickipedia jokes from them.
"Well," I thought, "I will give it a go."
So I Googled away and it took me straight to the obituaries - I hadn't realised I had that many jokes buried.

Sickipedia on your mobile phone; like having a ginger hating rapist pulling wisecracks in your pocket...

My girlfriend phoned my house phone earlier sounding pretty panicked. She said "A bomb's just gone off near where you work, where are you!?
I replied "Since i just answered my housephone, i'll let you take a wild guess."

It's great having unlimited texts at Christmas and New Years...
Now I just need some friends...

Remember: "Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not only an effective fire safety technique, but also a memorable way out of a boring conversation.

I personally find the facebook 'poke' feature to be too informal and patiently await the introduction of the 'molest' option....

Because of Blackberry outages, millions of users are checking their email on a computer like wild cave savages.

The problem with women is that they lack the power of conversation....
but not the power of talking

I tried texting with gloves and I just couldn't do it so I went back to texting with a phone.

I work in a call centre in Norwich and we've just been told our jobs are moving to India.
I'm so excited! I've always wanted to visit India and with the salary they pay me I'll be able to live like a Maharaja over there.
Well done Aviva, keep up the good work.

Am I the only person eagerly awaiting a Sickipedia iPhone app?