When IT technicians get married, instead of saying 'I do' they say 'I accept the Terms & Conditions'.

Governments that try to censor the Internet are SOPAthetic.

A Chinese teenager sold a kidney to buy an iPad2.
Sounds like a bargain they usually cost an arm and a leg

It's my 30th birthday tomorrow. I'm completely unknown and have never accomplished anything. I have no job and no prospects.
Looking forward to seeing what Google has planned for me though.

My wife thinks that I've become a computer nerd and we've got nothing in common.
I need to diagnose our connection problem.

Wikipedia has a fantastic business model.
They fool people into donating money claiming to help keep the site free.

Apple are to release a new logo which "accurately describes their relationship with their customers".
It's called the iCon.

Some guys tried to steal my ipod touch off of me last night. Thankfully they left me alone after I told them it was an iphone.

Video Game Developer Award.
Even if you're a winner, you're still a loser.

My mate's computer stores too many cookies.
It must be a Dell.

I've been dating a robot girlfriend, on and off

Yes windows, because I will be using that feature to hide 'buying my wife an engagement ring'

I have a blackberry and an apple, both on orange.
Amazing fruit balancing skills don't you think?

My wife said that she wants to spend some quality time with me tonight.
So I'm going to have my Xbox headset on mute this evening.

Madeira : Current death toll of raging torrent rises to 42.
I don't see why they didn't just use Pirate Bay.

I've just doubled the efficiency and trebled the capacity of my laptop.
I deleted Windows.

Surfing the internet without a decent antivirus is like walking through a black neighbourhood wearing a Klan mask.
Believe me, I tried both.

I don't know why all these gamers are in the news, moaning about PS3 and now Nintendo being hacked.
Back in the day I once hacked my ZX Spectrum, and got infinite lives on Chuckie Egg. It was awesome.

I heard about a new game coming out on the 9th of November, I think it's called 'African-American Ops'.

Language is a constantly evolving thing. For instance, the sentence "Omg, they have an fml app! wtf?" did not exist a year ago.
In reality, it probably shouldn't exist now either.

Study: Half of all seniors now use the internet.
I read that when my gran sent the entire story to me in the subject line of an email.

Good looks, success, charm, wit, youth, charisma.
For everyone else, there's 'Mastercard'

Why pay the normal price for a computer, when you can pay twice as much and get a picture of an apple on it?

Twitter;
Making it easier than ever to stalk and kill Z list celebrities.

This girl my friend knows (we'll call her the dogsitter) was looking after a dog for another friend while she was on holiday. During this period the dog unfortunately died.
The dogsitter phoned the vets and informed them and asked what to do. They told her to bring the dog in to the vets. The vets was fairly far away in Liverpool Street, London. And the dogsitter doesn't drive.
She looked round the house for something to put the dog in and ended up choosing a suitcase! She then headed on to the underground with the dead dog in the suitcase.
When finally arriving at Liverpool Street station trying to get this bag up the stairs she was offered some help. The guy was surprised how heavy it was and asked what was inside...
She just said bits from uni, laptops, jewelery etc.
When they got to the top of the stairs he ran off with the suitcase!