What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding a trojan horse in your PC.

A system administrator has only two problems...
Dumb Users and Smart Users

After 15 pints my standards drop and I end up doing internet searches for ugly women.
Beer googles eh.

Apparently Skyrim was getting rather popular in South East Asia,
It was, however, until it took an arrow Indonesia.

I don't know why I used to be scared of computers.
It's not like they byte.

The iPad 2 is a vast improvement on the original.
Now you can't play Flash based content twice as fast as before.

Want to ruin a good thing by overpopulating it with old or recycled jokes posted by newcomers?
There's an app for that.

Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.

Three days ago my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. 'Easy' I replied. 'Skyrim. It's what everyone is talking about.'
Now three days later, as I'm bent over a plane toilet in a tiny cubicle, 20,00ft in the air, I can't help but feel I should have elaborated a bit more...

I was debating the colour I'll have on my new computer.
If I get white, it will work harder.
But if I get black, it will run faster...

I've just bought a new Dell laptop...
When I switch it on it calls me a 'Plonker'.

I wonder if 60 years from now, robots will go to nightclubs and get a huge kick out of doing "The Human".

News Headline: "US Air Force combines 1,760 PlayStation 3 consoles to create super computer"
...another thing you can't do on an Xbox.

Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicking over who's going to be deleted.

400 miles away from Rio de Janeiro over the Atlantic Ocean with a major electrical on board failure?
Sorry, there really isn't an app for that.
Best regards
iPhone Software Development Team

When I first met my wife it wasn't exactly love at first sight... Neither of us had a webcam.

Am I the only person who didn't come up with the idea of Windows 7?

Please make sure your fingers are aligned to the keyboard correctly whilst talking to prospective employers.
You don't want to be telling them about your previous HIV

There are only 49 acheivements on Halo 3
they say the 50th is having your girlfriend dump you

I just bought the swiss version of Call of Duty.
It's srange, I can only do the training mission...

I'm an idiot and installing Windows 7 on my computer was my idea...

I finally found a cure for my insomnia this morning.
I just sat outside the Apple store for half an hour counting sheep.

My mate told me that he reckoned he played over 150 hours of online games a week,
"Wow!" I replied
He then said:
"No, runescape."

Did you know that the bluetooth mobile headset was invented by a German man?
Hans Free.

They say the Kindle Fire is the first tablet that allows you to communicate with the cloud.
I found I was able to communicate with both clouds and rainbows using LSD.