When I first met my wife it wasn't exactly love at first sight... Neither of us had a webcam.

I don't know why I used to be scared of computers.
It's not like they byte.

The iPad 2 is a vast improvement on the original.
Now you can't play Flash based content twice as fast as before.

Want to ruin a good thing by overpopulating it with old or recycled jokes posted by newcomers?
There's an app for that.

Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.

Three days ago my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. 'Easy' I replied. 'Skyrim. It's what everyone is talking about.'
Now three days later, as I'm bent over a plane toilet in a tiny cubicle, 20,00ft in the air, I can't help but feel I should have elaborated a bit more...

I was debating the colour I'll have on my new computer.
If I get white, it will work harder.
But if I get black, it will run faster...

I've just bought a new Dell laptop...
When I switch it on it calls me a 'Plonker'.

I wonder if 60 years from now, robots will go to nightclubs and get a huge kick out of doing "The Human".

News Headline: "US Air Force combines 1,760 PlayStation 3 consoles to create super computer"
...another thing you can't do on an Xbox.

Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicking over who's going to be deleted.

Am I the only person who didn't come up with the idea of Windows 7?

400 miles away from Rio de Janeiro over the Atlantic Ocean with a major electrical on board failure?
Sorry, there really isn't an app for that.
Best regards
iPhone Software Development Team

Apparently Skyrim was getting rather popular in South East Asia,
It was, however, until it took an arrow Indonesia.

After 15 pints my standards drop and I end up doing internet searches for ugly women.
Beer googles eh.

A system administrator has only two problems...
Dumb Users and Smart Users

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding a trojan horse in your PC.

I just bought the swiss version of Call of Duty.
It's srange, I can only do the training mission...

There are only 49 acheivements on Halo 3
they say the 50th is having your girlfriend dump you

Please make sure your fingers are aligned to the keyboard correctly whilst talking to prospective employers.
You don't want to be telling them about your previous HIV

I'm an idiot and installing Windows 7 on my computer was my idea...

Apple are the only company that would make a device that needs gloves to hold it so it works properly, but if you wear gloves you cant use it properly.

I had trouble getting onto my website earlier so I called my mate who was an IT technician.
"Have you tried disabling cookies?" he said.
"Well I once bit the legs off a gingerbread man..."

Tech support: What version of windows do you have installed?
Me: Double glazed.

I live in constant fear that one of my applications will suddenly test me on the Terms & Conditions I claim to have read.