I thought I'd seen the ghost of my dead girlfriend the other day. I walked into my lounge and she was just floating there, all pale and cold looking.
Turns out she'd hung herself earlier from a beam in the ceiling and I'd forgotten to take her down.

Very interesting thing, the paranormal.
I have a book on it.
I didn't buy it, it just turned up in my room one day.

I went round my gran's last night.
She suddenly started crying and said, "Ignore me - I'm just a silly sentimental old fool."
So I switched the telly on and watched the football.

My mate is haunted by a ghost which plays on his xbox all night.
It needs to get a life.

Sky News: 'Paranormal activity sweeps America'
If I was a ghost, I'd do something more scary than just tidy houses.

Thought I saw a ghost yesterday. Then I realised that there are still one or two white people still living in Brixton.

My wife is very spiritual.
She's dead.

I don't think i've ever been as miserable as when I got stuck in a lift with two ghosts the other day,
But when it started moving, it really lifted the spirits.

I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the spirit of my former girlfriend materialise at the foot of my bed.
I was utterly terrified, I just didn't ex spectre.