The time when the suffragettes were campaigning for the vote was the only time many women stuck to their diets.

What's the difference between Elvis , and Rudolf Hess ?
Elvis didn't come to Scotland to sing

It's Gregor Mendal's 189th Birthday. Being that old, no wonder he smells like pea.

I wondered if Henry IV ever signed any orders 'HIV'? Probably - he had aides.

Well its that time of year to go out joy riding...bonfire night.
Its the only time they dont send out the police helicopter.

I just subjected my wife to what we laughingly call a 'Pearl Harbour'.
It's a surprise Nip Attack.

My Great Great Grandad was killed at The Battle of the Little Bighorn
He wasn't involved in the battle,
He was camping in the field next door and went to complain about the noise.

I'm considering spending the weekend at a castle.
I've heard the knight life is really good there.

BBC SPORT: 'Pompey fans wary of share offer'
Pompey fans? Don't they know Caesar already won?

Don't you think it's a bit of a coincidence that the battle of Hastings happened on the same date as the number of the HastingsDirect website?

There is nothing more tedious than having to listen to someone telling you what they dreamed of last night.
Martin Luther King found that out the hard way.

"It's Bully from Bullseye!" I exclaimed as I saw the small statuette.
"You aren't really an expert in Cretan archeology are you?" replied the museum director.

I've never understood why people were so angry about Margaret Thatcher back in the day,
She was only a miner problem

The only reason we, the French army surrendered to the Germans was because the American government phoned us and said it was coming to Rescue the situation.

Rosa Parks didn't call shotgun.

While visiting relations in South Africa , I decided to look up the family tree.
Darwin was right. There were monkeys swinging in it's upper branches.

My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me you'd all be speaking German."
Well it's not like German people are speaking English.

I have 1 comment about your browsing history.
Nothing says everything.

People keep saying that the wheel is the best invention ever.
Have these people ever tried to ride a unicycle?

I wonder how many people standing on the earth in 1870 predicted that less than 100 years later there would be a man standing on the moon.
Whose name was Buzz.

Scientists are now saying that Mary Magdalene was edited out of The Last Supper painting.
I disagree.
Who do you think made the supper?

I just saw an advert on Facebook urging me to 'Discover America'.
They should really remove ads that are more than 500 years old.

"I need a Jew" I told my wife today
"why" she asked
"our new shower system needs testing"

What's got one head and 13 brains?...
Peter Sutcliffe's hammer!

"If we didn't kill Hitler we'd all be speaking German"
No, we'd be dead....
he killed himself. everything would be just the way it is.