I saw a flame red fox earlier, surfing the web looking for cheese.
It was a Mozarella Firefox.

I'm a PC and the 'Delete history" option on Windows 95 was MY idea

buffering 20%......buffering 45%.....buffering 68%...buffering 87%....100% buffered
That's the floor done; I'm off home.

Pep posted:
Girls on dating websites: Single mother is not an occupation. The word you are looking for is unemployed.
Proof that all sickipedians are single..

I'm sick of seeing all these children's TV cartoons set as every ones display picture on Facebook.
I see enough of Pingu and Rosie and Jim when my girlfriend gets her choice of what to watch on TV.

A recent study shows that 3 out of 10 teens chat with strangers online.
The other 7 teens actually have friends.

After reading some terrible spelling mistakes on Sickipedia, I suggest that some of the contributors should try and improve their spelling by going to school with their girlfriends.

Why can I remember an obscure duplicate joke on here from a year ago but cannot remember to notice my wife's new haircut when I see her?
Guess it's all about priorities...

Be honest,
There is no fear on this earth like waiting for your internet history to clear quickly while someone urgently needs to use your laptop.

Want to be an internet legend? Take loads of laxitives then go through the airport with 2 cases looking really nervous. When security say, "Excuse me sir, I'm afraid we're going to have to perform a full cavity search" simply reply, "ok, but for legal reasons, can my mate film it...?"

I'm ginger, and as a result spend a lot of my time indoors, on the internet.
Luckily, I'm now fantastic at poker and I got ripped in 4 weeks.

Never judge a book by its cover.
Judge it by its reviews on Amazon.

My girlfriend complained because I spend all day on Facebook and never take her anywhere.
So I took her to the cinema, to see 'The Social Network'.

According to Bing, the second most popular search term in 2010 so far has been 'Kim Kardashian'.
The most popular search term was 'What is Bing?'.

so, Facebook has a new feature that recognises users faces in photos.
It seems Facebook doesn't like Chinese or women in Burka's either.

"More than 100 bodies found stuffed in wells in central Nigeria following religious riots"
Pictures have been uploaded to pimpmysnack, just search rolos

I'm going to Las Vegas next month.
If only there was a way to learn how to play poker and get ripped in 4 weeks.

I was outraged yesterday to find that facebook had suggested that my 12 year old son became a fan of Adolf Hitler. I immediately switched off his computer, beat him and sent him to bed without supper.
I can't believe he wasn't already a fan.

I have noticed website backgrounds are a lot like racism.
Whites look proffesional, are most common, clever and are always work the best.
Blacks look suspicious, are most commonly doing something illegal and never work.

I've been told i use the internet too much and i have trouble differentiating the real world with my online life. This was discovered after i wanted to ask a girl out on a date and got arrested for writing on her wall. When i sent her a poo it didn't go down well either. im now beginning to understand why that woman slapped me when i poked her on the bus

First a global recession, then Australia catches up in flames, next an eartquake shakes Italy, and now there is a worldwide swine flu alert.
God must be very happy with us sickipedians.

I logged onto littlegirlslaughter.com last night.
Imagine my disappointment when all it turned out to be was a load of kids laughing.

I recently got married on Facebook, it's much better than a real Marriage as the divorce proceedings are really easy to go through.
It's just a shame it's not any easier to hide the body.

Since Sickipedia's update, random symbols have started to appear in new jokes.
Oh well, at least now Americans have a chance of spelling pedophile correctly.

I really don't understand EBay. I've got valuable items on there that don't get a bit of interest, but some tatty old pictures of me as a kid in the bath has already got 6 bids.