Sickipedia Stand-up Comedy Night - do YOU want to do 5 months in intensive care, under 24/7 Police guard ?
Get in touch ASAP.

I was really excited when I heard about the Sickipedia app for the iPhone, iPod touch etc.
But being an honest guy I can't download it, as it says that the content must only be viewed by persons over 17 years old.
It's a shame, really, I'm in my late 30's but I share my iPad with my girlfriend.

Helpful hint #1
When arranging to meet a girl from the internet, who "spreads 'em easily"....
Make sure she doesn't mean diseases.

I just got banned from the Apple store.
That's the last time I ever listen to those " Shoot 5 iPads And Win " ads.

My girlfriend has just called me 'sick' after walking in on me on Sickipedia,
what would she have called me if she'd walked in 5 minutes earlier?

"Schoolboy, 15, hangs himself after 'being plagued by online bullies' "
See, it's not nice calling people forum rats.

BBC News: "Indian plane crash kills scores"
So that's why all my jokes are doing so badly this morning.

yesterday i was told i was the 999,999th visitor to this website and won a prize- logged on today to find i am still the 999,999th visitor.
I am alone on the internet........

So there is a huge power cut across India, over 300 million people affected directly...
Are they including those of us who can't call for tech support?

Did you know every time you press F5 a paki dies?

nothing says you're an illiterate 12 year old boy who's uncle makes you do things you don't understand like starting your sentences without a capital letter.

Seen on facebook how many 'likes' girls get when they post pictures of their babies on there walls. So I thought I would give it try.
Didn't go down well. know where near as popular as I thought. And the mother and father where furious.

Emile Heskey's wife is to divorce him after he didn't buy her the anniversary present she wanted online.
Apparently he couldn't find the net.

I think British rail have taken over the Sickipedia forums
Running slow,running late ,permanent connection problems ,and at peak times......not running at all.

I find it very difficult to imagine a life without Sickipedia...
Having a job, having a girlfriend, having friends, owning my own house, owning my own car...

You know you've took a wrong turn when all WiFi Networks are gang names.

I'm planning on making a new Facebook account with the name "benefits" ...That way when a few people add me, it'll say "X and 6 other people are now friends with benefits"

I just noticed people joining the "i shouldn't be aloud a phone when im drunk!" group on Facebook...
Well I don't think they should be ALLOWED to make a group unless they can spell properly

Jokes that take up a lot of room on the front page are like desperate fat birds:
The bigger they are, the faster they'll go down.

Sickipedia on your mobile phone; like having a ginger hating rapist pulling wisecracks in your pocket...

Went round my mate's house to see he'd had a rain forest installed in his living room complete with snakes, monkeys and tree frogs. I said: "So, your Amazon order finally arrived."

My boyfriend came round with his 8 mates the other night and were trying to explaining something about a joke.
After an hour i had to lie and say i got the joke as i was getting sore down there and he was getting angry.
His mates are coming round next week when he`s at work to try explain again.

I met my last 4 girlfriends on this very site... and now my boss has fired me....... I pulled too many Sicki's

I may as well invite the Sickipedia moderators around to my house. I have a dead body here I don't know what to do with and they have a habit of making things disappear.

Sickipedia's server
About as stable as Heather Mills with termites
(The first few times I tried posting this, I got the 'lost connection to the database' error. I think i've made my point.)