People with time machines need to stop living in the past.

Germany has been practising with this new style ball, in their league, for over year now and look how well they are doing ... Ironically, in 1938, when they last failed to qualify .....
Their leader Adolf Hitler had only one ball to play with.

BBC News;
''Chef battered ex wife to death''
How ironic.

I'm so sick of having to give things up for lent that I don't do it anymore.

I drink too much to forget my problems, most notably the fact that I drink too much.

After a particularly vigorous Physical session with his daughter, Josef Fritzel, panting and exhausted exclaimed to Elizabeth "Whew! Good job, Shall we call it a day?"
She responded "i dont know, there's no windows in here"

All my friends are the same.
They're so judgemental.

Those who can't laugh at themselves, leave the job to others.

If I said I was a compulsive liar, would you believe me?

The irony when Germany prepare for Euro 2012 by going to the Cryotherapy chambers in Poland.

My wife thinks I'm idle and I'm not gonna go out of my way to talk to her about it either.

Does anyone else find it ironic that Most Haunted is on Living TV?

From a young age if I was ill, the first thing I was told was to take pills and drink lots of fluid, if I couldn't sleep: "Here's a pill". Trouble with my ADHD - more pills. But, I slip one ecstasy pill in my little brother's vodka and I'm the bad influence.

You know what's ironic?
People generally like white snow, hate black snow and tend to stay away from yellow snow.

How ironic US congresswoman, Gabrielle Giffords last speech said we need to be head strong
In these troubled times

Isn't it ironic that osama has died today?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY BLAIR..

Isn't it ironic that women are born to cook but when you want good food, in a restaraunt, you have to have a man to cook it.

Saw a sign today: "Centre for blind -->"
Irony

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they dont really know me.

Need sympathetic advice for your incontinence problems?
www. pmsltraining.co.uk/about_us.asp

ITV: Tune in next week for the new series of 'The biggest loser'
Sponsored by 'Subway'

A man stopped me in the street earlier & said "Excuse me, can you spare me a minute for Attention Defecit Disorder."

I officially want written on my Tombstone:
"You Should See the Other Guy"

Its no fun being on death row.
That's why I've sent them a game to play. Its the one where you have to try to get the ring down the end without touching the wire and completing the circuit.
How they must laugh when the buzzer goes off.

Curry's.
Ironically no Indians work there.