Those who can't laugh at themselves, leave the job to others.

All my friends are the same.
They're so judgemental.

After a particularly vigorous Physical session with his daughter, Josef Fritzel, panting and exhausted exclaimed to Elizabeth "Whew! Good job, Shall we call it a day?"
She responded "i dont know, there's no windows in here"

I drink too much to forget my problems, most notably the fact that I drink too much.

I'm so sick of having to give things up for lent that I don't do it anymore.

BBC News;
''Chef battered ex wife to death''
How ironic.

I don't hate immigrants but if they don't know that well English, they should go.

Isn't it ironic that marriage is only three letters away from a girls nightmare.
Miscarriage

I wonder if articles on the BBC news website start with a joke from this website?

I saw a joke the other day about the FIFA presidential election and the English FA.
Ironically, I abstained from voting it.

To the person who was driving the overturned car on the M1, the five fire engines, two police cars and an ambulance. I hope you're happy now...
...I'm gonna be late for work.

Rebecca Black's Friday has been removed because they found she had misrepresented herself in the song by claiming she had 'friends'.

It's just been announced that Amy Winehouse overdosed using Ketamine...what were the odds of that, 2-1 I wonder..shame she didn't hold out for the Grand National.

In the news tonight: Modern day people are finding it harder being kept in suspense.
More on this later..

I immediately hate people who make snap judgements.

My best friend just told me that I am always jealous.
Wish I was able to notice things like that, lucky so-and-so.

I find it ironic that you need a pair off scissors to get into a new pair off scissors

Everywhere you look there is a joke about 'Dave'. I've heard them all before, over and over again.
How ironic that they are all repeats.

So GS4 have lost the Old Trafford contract then.
Not the first thing they have lost recentley,

The definition of irony:
A site full of people joking about how stupid others are, while every other joke refers to the 50,000 dead in Haiti as "half a million."

BBC News: Nottinghamshire Police staff have staged their second walkout in a week as a protest against cuts.
They used to walk out every day, or Patrol as it was known in the old days.

I was learning to be patient
But then I thought, this isn't worth the wait.

In a bitter divorce my ex-wife said,
"...and I'll see to it that you'll never see our kids"
Never one to miss out on some irony, I got out my acid-filled water-pistol and squirted in her eyes.

If I ever face a firingsquad and get offered a last request, Ill ask for a bulletproof vest.

Wouldn't it be ironic if Bin Laden owned a Porsche 911?