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ITV: Tune in next week for the new series of 'The biggest loser'
Sponsored by 'Subway'

Saw a sign today: "Centre for blind -->"
Irony

Curry's.
Ironically no Indians work there.

A man stopped me in the street earlier & said "Excuse me, can you spare me a minute for Attention Defecit Disorder."

I officially want written on my Tombstone:
"You Should See the Other Guy"

I was learning to be patient
But then I thought, this isn't worth the wait.

I don't hate immigrants but if they don't know that well English, they should go.

In a bitter divorce my ex-wife said,
"...and I'll see to it that you'll never see our kids"
Never one to miss out on some irony, I got out my acid-filled water-pistol and squirted in her eyes.

The definition of irony:
A site full of people joking about how stupid others are, while every other joke refers to the 50,000 dead in Haiti as "half a million."

Wouldn't it be ironic if Bin Laden owned a Porsche 911?

Isn't it ironic that marriage is only three letters away from a girls nightmare.
Miscarriage

I wonder if articles on the BBC news website start with a joke from this website?

I saw a joke the other day about the FIFA presidential election and the English FA.
Ironically, I abstained from voting it.

To the person who was driving the overturned car on the M1, the five fire engines, two police cars and an ambulance. I hope you're happy now...
...I'm gonna be late for work.

Rebecca Black's Friday has been removed because they found she had misrepresented herself in the song by claiming she had 'friends'.

It's just been announced that Amy Winehouse overdosed using Ketamine...what were the odds of that, 2-1 I wonder..shame she didn't hold out for the Grand National.

In the news tonight: Modern day people are finding it harder being kept in suspense.
More on this later..

I immediately hate people who make snap judgements.

My best friend just told me that I am always jealous.
Wish I was able to notice things like that, lucky so-and-so.

I find it ironic that you need a pair off scissors to get into a new pair off scissors

Everywhere you look there is a joke about 'Dave'. I've heard them all before, over and over again.
How ironic that they are all repeats.

So GS4 have lost the Old Trafford contract then.
Not the first thing they have lost recentley,

Nothing worse than when someone starts a sentence with 'nothing worse than' but there are clearly worse things than that subject matter in existence

If I ever face a firingsquad and get offered a last request, Ill ask for a bulletproof vest.