I was raised Catholic but I'm trying to become a Lutheran so I can get on board to try and kill Superman.

Like most other Sickipedians
I'm using the newest popular joke template

Want proof we sickipedians can TAKE a joke?
Just see how many Duplicates there are !

I thought ITV and BBC were bad for showing repeats of films, but yesterday on Sickipedia I saw Ghost 2 at least fifteen times.

swhereing shows a lack of intelligence

I had to excuse myself from dinner this evening to answer a call of nature.
Being Dr Dolittle isn't all fun and games.

How many Yorkshire men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They dont like change.

My wife moaned at me to day complaining that i never open the car door for her.
so as i was driving down the M66 i wait until i hit 80mph then opened the car door bet she wish she keep her mouth shut now.

My girlfriend just called me a sore loser
I nearly threw my controller at the game over screen

Birmingham city have just signed Chilean international Jean Beausejour from Club America
Looks like they dug him out from the minor leagues!

I only have one pet hate...cats

My old man's a Dustman...
He lives in an Urn on the Mantle Piece.

My wifes been a mime for about a year now and I'm leaving her.
I've had enough of her charades.

I was getting a bit lonely in the evenings, so I decided to advertise for a lodger.
The Governor refused though saying I hadn't really grasped the concept of solitary confinement.

I used to hang around with a shy rock
but now hes a little boulder

My girlfriend is leaving me for the most ridiculous reason.
Apparently I am addicted to cricket.
Oh well I suppose we had a good innings.

The children at the primary school I work at love to draw turkeys using their hands as the outline.
Except the kid from Norfolk, who loves drawing Stegosauruses.

Taxi for abdul...
Oh wait, he drives one.

We were just about to start the annual company rugby match when my opposing captain jogged up to me.
"You do realise this is only supposed to be a friendly game between employees, don't you?"
"Of course I do," I replied, "Especially after last year when you accused me of drafting in some ringers."
"So where are those five from then?" he asked.
"The temporary New Zealand branch," I said, "Now show some respect while they do the Haka."

Today, I told my girlfriend that I often make jokes online at her expense. She said, "That's alright. I don't exist anyway."

When is it okay to spit on EL's face?

That's out of line.
way

You know, I've been on hard times lately and there's always been a group of people there for me no matter what.
Through the credit crunch, Jade's cancer, through Michael Jackson dying, through Obama becoming president and now the anniversary of 9/11.
Though these group of people are always there for me, they get enough stick as it is because of their morals and and for saying what they believe is right, and this group of people are mostly hated but loved by many, yet many of them are also wanted by the police. Yet, their still there for me.
So thank you sickipedians for always being there, unless the latency decided to intrude.

whats the only part of a piece of clothing thats constantly trying to get your attention?
....a hem!!

A good joke is created from the genius of a male and the inspiration from a female.