A man walks into a library and asks for a book on pantomimes.
The librarian says; "It's behind you!"

A Jewish midget walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian replies; Well thats a little unorthodox.

A man walks into a library and says, "I..."
The librarian interrupts "in the duplicate section"

Man goes into a library and asks for a book on 'Probability'.
Librarian says, "It might be on that shelf over there".

Sepp Blatter walks in to a bribary.....

A librarian was shocked when a young girl, who looked no more than nine-years old, tried to borrow a book called "Advice for young Mothers."
"Surely, dear, you can't be pregnant?"
"What are you on about? I just collect moths."

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Okay."
"Really?" asks the man. "Usually you're much m..."
"APRIL FOOLS!"

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on pick-up lines.
The librarian replies, "It's in my house, if you want to come over and collect it."

A drunk walks into a library and says, "Can I have fish and chips, please?"
The woman says, "Sir, this is a library!"
The drunk stammers, "Oh, sorry!" He pauses, then whispers, "Can I have fish and chips, please?"

A Sickipedian walks into a library.
The librarian says "Crack a joke and I'll stab you!"

Is the Bridgend library the only one that does actually lend books on suicide?

A German student walks into a library.
Everyone takes cover.

"Whistle while you work"
In hindsight, this is probably not the best of ways to hold down a job at the library.

A bloke asked the librarian why Tales of Robin Hood had been withdrawn from the collection. The librarian replied, "Too much Saxon violence."

Memo
Books on suicide are currently unavailable at this time, sorry for any inconvenience.
Thanks,
Bridgend Public Library

A man goes to the library...
...but it was closed due to government spending cuts.

An American goes to the library.
Yeah right, Americans can't read.

A German walks into a library and asks for a book on war.
The librarian replies, "No mate, you'll lose it."

A American goes into a library and says, "I..."
The librarian interrupts and says, "Sorry, the McDonald's is round the corner."

A man goes into a library and doesn't ask for a book. Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense.
This places no burden on the librarian, who subsequently has no need to say anything.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers.
The librarian says;

Ashley Cole goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says "here, keep it keep it..."

Man goes into a library and asks for a book about French War Heroes.
The librarian tells him to try the fiction section.

A librarian commits suicide, thus creating a paradox.

An Italian walked over a library.