Vampires suck

If you ask me, it's about time for Vampire Killer to become a profession again.

So with the new Twilight movie out, i've been getting asked by loads of my friends whether i'm "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob".
I decided to not watch any of the movies, and opted for "Team Life".

This is a genuine quote from an American teenager when asked what she thought of Twilight: New Moon.
"It was like, totally awesome! Oh...and vampires are the hottest thing alive!"
Somehow, I don't think she was trying to be ironic.

If a vegetarian becomes a Zombie...do they only eat people in comas?

Zombies....if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Naked Vampires.
They don't like cloves.

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?
He ate Brian.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
So if the zombie apocalypse starts there, the rest of the world is saved.

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I'm just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills.
I should be fine.

After watching a few zombie films I've come to the conclusion that I would be a cameraman in the event of a zombie-apocalypse.
They never seem to attack them.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month!"

If vampires can't see their reflections, how come their hair is always so neat?