I'm finding some of the humour about the
dead child in the tumble dryer a bit dry.
Carbon Footprint - a metaphor for the mark you leave on the earth as you live your life, ofcourse i dont have one as i drive everywhere.
Last night I got drunk and stole a Police helicopter...
I've landed myself in it now.
Being crushed by large objects can be very depressing.
As a polygamist, my life won't be complete until I find that special somefive.
Pizza jokes are all about the delivery.
If alcohol is not the answer, change the question.
The Wife has just turned over a new Leaf.
She's Crashed our Nissan Electric Car.
The wife got very annoyed yesterday because she couldn't find the mattress.
She lost her tempur
I aim to put a stop to uncompleted sentences.
I recently got a job as Werewolf. It's only part time.
Some dirty old bag hit me today, was well windy.
When a person with a bad limp gets drunk, do they walk normal?
I'd never buy chicken from the co-op.
A lion walked onto a packed escalator.
You should've seen the uproar.
People accuse me of being lazy, but I'll think of a comeback soon.
Have I got multiple personalities? A part of me says yes.
You know that you're fat when you have a Christmas card ready for the pizza delivery man.
I wouldn't say I'm arrogant but Superman has pictures of me on his pyjamas.
I got thrown out of the local bookies today because apparently I don't understand how betting works.
What're the odds?
I find drag racing very straightforward.
Did the makers of Freddo really think putting the price up wouldn't be noticed?!
Let's face the facts.
Scented toilet paper is a battle that can never be won.
Being a nihilist has brought so much meaning to my life.
Amputees- they need a shoulder to cry on