Men`s faults are many,
Women have only two:
Everything they say
And everthing they do.

Red ring at night, Gately's delight.
Blue ring in morning, oedema warning.

What is the is the point of learning poetic devices in school?
Take a similie for example - the chances of me ever using one after my school life is about as likely as a Ferret killing a Lion with a samurai sword...

There was an old man from Limerick.
Who was completely unaware of the short but often humurous poetry that shares the same name as his hometown.

I've been watching you for ages,
when you're on the bus or walking.
But I know you've never noticed that
I've been arrested twice for stalking...

Flowers are hated
By most blokes
Now stop with these poems
They aren't real jokes.

Rose's are red,
Asphyxiation is blue,
My hands are round your throat, and I'm raping you.

Roses are red!
Violets are red!
Call the police!
Someone's been killed in the florists!

Roses are boring,
Violets are Bland,
You're spending Valentines,
At home with your hand.

Roses are Red
Lemons are sour
Open your legs
And give me an Hour ...

Our love will never become cold and hollow. Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
When you squeeze their head,
Babies are too.

I started writing poetry the other day:
POETR
That's coming along nicely.

And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down.
I'm no doctor but sounds like the Grand Old Duke of York's men were bi-polar.

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey.
I'm a Dog.

Roses are red,
Violets are red,
No wait...
THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

HAIKU:
Writing a poem
in seventeen syllables
is very diffi

Roses are brown,
Violets are brown...
Okay, who shat in my garden?

The difference between poetry and prose:
A woman at the seaside
Walking on the front
Went into the water
It came up to her knees.
That's prose, if she had gone in another foot it would have been poetry.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

There once was a man called Hawking,
Who got very bored of walking,
He got on a scooter,
Attached a computer,
And now it does all of the talking.

I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.