During lunch break at school once, I took a cricket ball to the head.
He said, "What have you brought me this for?"
My son just got an A in English.
Which unfortunately means he failed his spelling test.
My son was expelled from school recently.
They had a Victorian themed day and he turned up with his black friend on a chain.
That's my boy!
Fake tan:
The major threat to trigonometry.
My fourteen year old sons school behavior has improved dramatically since I said "Next time you get in trouble I'll meet you at the school gate...
and I'll be wearing a dress."
I was in school today when my teacher handed me a piece of paper that told me to write everything I know about World War 2. I wrote on the paper, "en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II"
I love nothing more in life than sitting with the kids all day watching Spongebob.
However, the education board has sent me a letter demanding an explanation.
I always give 110% in my job.
Which is why I was sacked from the examination board.
All through school I tried to work out what made my teacher tick?
Turns out it was correct answers.
My school was so rough...
The school magazine had an obituary column.
I'm a chair at the local school along with a few other parents
These cuts have gone too far.
I was sick of working in a fast food restaurant, with my life going nowhere. So I went to university to do a philosophy degree.
Now I can ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
It's unbelievable how easy the first question was in my exam today.
Q1. Name three letters of the alphabet.
I was like wtf.
I like my girls how I like my colours.
Primary.
Just walked in on my illiterate brother sobbing about how difficult his English exam is going to be. I gave him a big hug and said, "There, their they're."
He'll never know the difference.
Alphabetti Spaghetti taught me how to spell when I was a kid.
My dad used to hit me over the head with the tin if I made a mistake in my homework.
When I was at school, I had a teacher who had a nervous tick... so everyone got really good marks.
