When it comes to fighting, my friends say I'm like quantum reality.
I collapse as soon as someone looks at me

I'm not clumsy, just cautious. I keep dropping things to make sure gravity still works.

Wanted:
Schrodinger's cat.
Dead or Alive

I have a degree in liberal arts.
Do you want fries with that?

Scientist have been wondering what comes out of a blackhole for years ,
Aids ,Simple

Me and my mate both love the same type of atomic bonding.
How ionic.

I love WiFi. I'm currently sat on the toilet.
Logging out.

I love science we have so much in common
Take pH and my choice of girls for example:
They both only go up to 14.

Seriously, Michael Jackson didn't have plastic surgery to become white. He was just the first black man in history to EVER have a shower...

"In recreating the process of fusion it was always understood that we could pursue three areas of interest and value," explained Dr Erik Storm of the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LLNL), the home of the National Ignition Facility (NIF).
First and foremost, NIF has been built for national security purposes, to study the conditions that exist in nuclear explosions and the way that nuclear weapons perform.
"That gives you an ability to maintain a credible nuclear deterrent in the absence of underground nuclear testing," said Dr Storm.
Marvel have bought the rights to his accident already...

A new scientific study claims that women have an "inbuilt fear" of getting fat.
In that case, I'd like to nominate my wife for a George Cross.

Astronomy is looking up!

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, the three astronauts from Apollo 11 visited the White House. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were allowed to set foot inside the White House, while Michael Collins was forced to drive around in circles outside.

Oxygen, Magnesium, Fermium, Lithium, Iron, Tin, Sulphur, Thorium, Uranium, Phosphorus and Cerium walk into a backstreet casino bar.
The bartender screams, and says
OMg FmLiFe
TiS ThU POLiCe

How do you confuse a scientist?
With the element of surprise.

In the news: British scientists have said, "By the end of 2050 we will be ten billion." Does our country need so many scientists?

Iran has launched a rocket into orbit today carrying a rat...
or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he's more commonly known.

The real question is, why did the road move laterally under the stationary chicken?

where in the periodic table is the element of surprise?!

Chavs - The product of a rare event in nature in which evolution starts to work backwards.

I've just bought a new fridge that chills to absolute zero.
How cool is that?

I find quantum really hard to understand, I guess I'm as thick as a Planck.

So they have found a new particle that travels faster than light now?
We certainly didn't see that one coming.

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to prefix every question with the phrase "I have travelled here from the year 1987 to ask..."
Which is technically true.

Newton's little-known 4th Law of Motion - 'However hard you shake it, the last drop always goes down your trouser leg'.