I wish I was DNA helicase.
Then I could unzip your jeans.

A biologist and a physicist got married but soon had to divorce.
There was just no chemistry.

In my physics exam today a question asked "What's the unit of power?"
I answered "Correct."

Went to a fancy dress party the other day, i went as Oxygen.
I was in my element

I was quite geeky when I was a child.
I thought that Optimus Prime was an integer with no divisors.

Why are doctors sometimes referred to as HeBas?
Because if they can't Helium, they have to Barium

A proton and an electron walk into a bar.
The feeling was neutral.

I see this morning that scientists have found a way of creating sperm. Many people have said, this could spell the end for men. However, until they create a machine to open the lid of the mint jelly, we are still in business.

I was shopping for DVDs the other day, when I came across "Journey to the far side of the Sun". The plot was basically; a team of astronauts head to the other side of the Sun to investigate a mysterious problem.
I thought to myself "Why not just wait 6 months?"

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

I have a medical condition which causes me to be hard-working, polite and intelligent.
It is commonly known as 'Being White.'

Archimedes: "An object fully or partly immersed in a liquid is buoyed upward by a force equal to the weight of the liquid displaced by that object."
Whatever floats your boat, mate.

Social science.
It's like normal science, only more talkative.

Me and you love, we're like an excited nucleus of U-236...we have to split up.

I am living, breathing proof that the respiratory system works.

Stephen Hawking: Making science cool, one syllable at a time.

At a cinema near you APOLLO 18. Why we never went back!
Is that because you didn't actually go?

Found out today why there are many women who like partical physics.
It's so they are never far from an ion.

Following on from the discovery that it's possible to go faster than the speed of light, scientists today found a temperature lower than Absolute Zero.
It was observed in a sausage roll from Greggs

The guy who split the atom is probably thrilled that we use 'sliced bread' as our measure of greatness.

If Einstein hadn't come up with the Theory of Relativity, someone else would have. It was only a matter of time.

"Pablo, do you know the Chemical symbol for Silicon?"
"Si Senor."

Alchemists had it all wrong.
They used fancy words and symbols to turn lead into gold but my way's much easier.
Just swallow some and collect the insurance.

To get to the other side.
Why did the tachyon cross the road?

Chemically speaking, the only difference between male and Female is an iron.