If they don't find the Higgs Boson soon I don't know how I am going to hold myself together.

As I lay beneath the stars taking hundreds of spectacular pictures I couldn't help but think...
I've just taken voyeurism to an all new level of low.

Do you think if astronauts go on the internet it says...
Meet singles in Low Earth Orbit.

Invertebrates give in to pressure far too easily,
They've no backbone.

Guardian: Scientists create GM mice with stutter to study condition's causes
Let me save you the time. In this instance, you're going to find that scientists caused it.

Why do maths teachers not like dancing?
They can't handle the func.

The discovery that neutrinos can travel faster than the speed of light has caused surprise in the scientific community.
No-one saw that coming.

Gravity is a law. Lawbreakers will be brought down!

One angry Neutrino squares up to another Neutrino, looking for a fight,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week he says!

Why is angle B 60 degrees?
Bcos.

The Higgs Boson.
Ending awkward moments at supermarket checkouts since yesterday.

What do you call the equipment you use to rush Barcadi, Pineapple and Coconut together at speed?
A large Pina Collider.

I was thinking about the Physics behind certain coloured objects becoming hotter than others in the sun.
Isn't it ironic how black things always seem to attract the most heat?

i heard there was a joke section on Stephen Hawking, but because it being the man himself, it got disabled.

My tedious mate won't shut up about a Group 13 metalloid with atomic number 5.
Bore on.

I was offered a job at CERN last week, to study particle physics.
I lepton the chance.

`Have you seen the backside on that ?' I shouted, while watching the mobius strip.

I'm an upstanding member of the primate community.

Scientists think that the more intelligent you are the worse your memory is.
Might explain why my girlfriend can remember everything I've ever said.

The Sun is so egotistic, it thinks the whole world revolves around it.

Apparently a human foetus starts development as a female regardless of whether it is male or female in later development...
Which would explain why I like to occasionally make my own sandwich.

Where does a chemistry Professor wash his dishes?
In the zinc.

I went to a restaurant on the moon the other day.
The food was great, but there wasn't really any atmosphere.

Thinking about it, my favourite topic in physics is reflection.

BBC headline: "Scientists create 'dry water'".
All you need to add is water.