I don't know why everyone is such a fan of Apple and their iGadgets. First the iPod, then onto the iPad...
Eventually they'll bring out the iRobot and we all know how that ends...

A disturbing new study founds that studies are disturbing.

I once tried to boil mercury in my kettle.
It completely destroyed the element.

An electrician was out late one night and met his wife in the kitchen as he sneaked in the front door.
His wife asked, "Wire ya insulate?"
He replied, Watts it to ya, I'm ohm, ain't I?

My request to study physics at Oxford university has been declined.
Apparently putting "Because it's gods plan" as the answer to every question isn't the best way to get in.

In my spare time, I show my friends the various oxidation states of Vanadium.
I'm not really a chemist, I do it mainly for the reaction.

me and my wife are always having arguements on which is the nicest pie. I've won 3.142 times this week.

Physics would have been so much easier....IF....The "Tree" had fallen on Newton's head instead of the apple...

If you get an infinite number of chimpanzees playing an infinite number of bongos, eventually one of them will come up with the complete works of Dire Straits.

The names bond, covalent bond.

No means No! (and nitrogen monoxide)

Enough with all these neutrino jokes.
I heard them all next week.

I dropped acid today. Never again will I attempt Chemistry with wet hands.

Entropy...It's not what it used to be.

scientists have just confirmed that they are about to start studies on the female brain .
This comes after a decade of trying to locate it .

BBC News - Exploding star 'viewed in 3D'
I can't be the only one who hoped the star in question was Katie Price ...

I was talking to a brown dwarf the other day.
"You're gonna be a star some day!" I said

Why are the slender protuberances from eukaryotic cells more comical than the flagella found on prokaryotic cells? Because the former are cilia! (In reality, they are not "sillier" and are, if anything, more motile due to sinosoidal undulations!!).

I like the word 'Saturn'.
It has a nice ring to it.

NASA has revealed that our galaxy with collide with it's closest neighbour Andromeda within the next 3 billion years.
Co-incidentally the same day the DFS sale ends.

Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Get out, we don't serve bacteria in this bar."
The bacteria replies, "It's okay, we're staph."

I have an incredible talent: I can tell a persons skin colour just from their ashes!
I call it crematography

Gravity - It has its down side.

Do you know who I hate:
Those that are confused by venn diagrams,
Those that do not understand venn diagrams,
and those that are confused and do not understand venn diagrams

One of the more famous time-travel related theories is called "The Grandfather Paradox". What it basically means is: if you go back in time to a period when your grandfather is still very young, and you kill him, then you are supposed to vanish -- because if your grandfather is dead, it means one of your parents was never conceived , which means you were never conceived.
On the other hand, let's say you do go back in time, and you do kill your grandfather at a young age and you don't disappear.
Then Gramma has a few questions to answer.