When being asked if I collect vouchers for schools at Tesco.
Saying that you think you're girlfriend collects them is probably not a great thing to say, but it does stop the stupid checkout operator talking to you.
BBC News: Civilians die in Kashmir violence.
It's amazing what some people will do for a nice sweater...
I always buy Tesco value toilet paper.
There are certain shortcomings, but it feels the same as Andrex on the hole.
I kept forgetting my pin today.
No wonder the grenades didn't explode.
I went online shopping for the wife today.
thaibrides.com has a brilliant variety.
The ministry of defence have just announced their new supplier of body armour for the frontline troops will be TK Maxx
I bought a jigsaw puzzle, but some of the pieces were missing.
Today my friends were livid when I had a full scale argument with the spastic behind the counter whilst trying to get a refund.
Won't be shopping at Cancer Research again.
I've decided to make my house more sellable by putting a Waitrose supermarket trolley in my front garden.
I said to the wife, "I've been to Asda today and I got three, yes, three, trolleys full of food for 7 quid. Beat that then."
She said, "Good for you!"
I said, "No, smart price."
People always say that Trident is too expensive.
But I just bought a whole pack for 30p.
MATALAN.
Because you are too proud to shop at Primark but too poor to buy clothes at Top Shop.
You can't put a price on Happiness
....unless it's the brand of washing powder called Happiness and you work as a shelf-stacker in Lidl's
It's a scientific fact that you're more likely to see John Terry at a reggae convention than you are to ever pay full price for a sofa in DFS.
Tesco Metro - Evicting Paki shopkeepers since 1992.
Some people call me a reluctant consumer, but I don't buy it.
I wonder if the owner of DFS has thought about making a bit of extra cash by charging full price every once in a while?
A stunning blonde, in breath taking extremely tight jeans is walking down the street.
A guy, looking at her with his tongue on his shoes, asks her: 'I'm very sorry, but I just need to know... How does one ever get in those pants?
'Well', she said, 'you could start with offering me a drink...'
The cashier in Tesco almost slapped me today, apparently buying wire coat hangers, bin bags, a pregnancy test and pain medication is frowned upon.
DFS
Sofas For Dyslexics.
What's the difference between Sainsbury's Prawns and Lidl Prawns?
One has a shelf life, the other has a half life.
I got a 20 Primark voucher for my birthday..
I'm now majority share holder.
I was walking down the street today and an Iceland van drove past and on the side was writen 'Iceland Delivers straight to your door! That's why mum's go to Iceland!'
So these mum's are going all the way to Iceland just to get them to deliver it to their door?
I was walking down the street today and an Iceland van drove past and on the side was writen 'Iceland Delivers straight to your door! That's why mum's go to Iceland!'
So these mum's are going all the way to Iceland just to get them to deliver it to their door?
I took a dodgy shredder back to the shop today and asked for a refund.
"Have you got the receipt for it?" They asked.
I said "Yes, Have you got any Sellotape?"
I took a dodgy shredder back to the shop today and asked for a refund.
"Have you got the receipt for it?" They asked.
I said "Yes, Have you got any Sellotape?"
