Tesco Thick Bleach "Kills germs and bacteria dead"
I'd say that was thick alright

When being asked if I collect vouchers for schools at Tesco.
Saying that you think you're girlfriend collects them is probably not a great thing to say, but it does stop the stupid checkout operator talking to you.

BBC News: Civilians die in Kashmir violence.
It's amazing what some people will do for a nice sweater...

I always buy Tesco value toilet paper.
There are certain shortcomings, but it feels the same as Andrex on the hole.

The ministry of defence have just announced their new supplier of body armour for the frontline troops will be TK Maxx

A stunning blonde, in breath taking extremely tight jeans is walking down the street.
A guy, looking at her with his tongue on his shoes, asks her: 'I'm very sorry, but I just need to know... How does one ever get in those pants?
'Well', she said, 'you could start with offering me a drink...'

I wonder if the owner of DFS has thought about making a bit of extra cash by charging full price every once in a while?

Some people call me a reluctant consumer, but I don't buy it.

Tesco Metro - Evicting Paki shopkeepers since 1992.

It's a scientific fact that you're more likely to see John Terry at a reggae convention than you are to ever pay full price for a sofa in DFS.

You can't put a price on Happiness
....unless it's the brand of washing powder called Happiness and you work as a shelf-stacker in Lidl's

People always say that Trident is too expensive.
But I just bought a whole pack for 30p.

I said to the wife, "I've been to Asda today and I got three, yes, three, trolleys full of food for 7 quid. Beat that then."
She said, "Good for you!"
I said, "No, smart price."

I've decided to make my house more sellable by putting a Waitrose supermarket trolley in my front garden.

I bought a jigsaw puzzle, but some of the pieces were missing.
Today my friends were livid when I had a full scale argument with the spastic behind the counter whilst trying to get a refund.
Won't be shopping at Cancer Research again.

I kept forgetting my pin today.
No wonder the grenades didn't explode.

MATALAN.
Because you are too proud to shop at Primark but too poor to buy clothes at Top Shop.

Shoppers; save cash when buying apples in the supermarket by removing the stalks to reduce the weight. You'll be smiling all the way to the checkout on your 176th visit as you effectively claim your free apple.

Dfs - selling more seats than the House of Lords!

Sainsbury's told me today to 'Take an old bag shopping'
I'd love to but I try to keep her locked in the kitchen.

Whats the point in those Tescos self service check-outs, if you have to call a member of staff to put in their code for every other item?

I just walked past a Tesco's store with a sign in the window.. "No Food, No Drink, No Cigs, in this store"
Worst. Tesco. Ever.

This isn't just any closing down sale....
....this is an M&S closing down sale.

I love the 'you break it you buy it' rule.
I've always wanted a disabled Hamster.

I went to check out the specials at asda today. I found them pushing trolleys in the car park.