I was recently the victim of a Facebook group, "Most Immature Person In The World. Period".
I had to comment on this, so I posted on the group's wall..
"Hahahahaha , PERIOD" yesterday at 4:20pm.

I just saw a group on Facebook called "HOW TO MAKE YOUR GAG REFLEX GO AWAY - AMAZING!!!"
This applies to all my future targets.

Years ago, when someone was tired, they went to bed. These days they turn on their computer and tell all their "friends" on Facebook that they're tired, and then they go to bed.
Alone.

I'm jealous of the screams Facebook gets when it goes down on girls...

I have just made friends with some 6 year old girls on Facebook. Does that mean I can now legally poke them?

A survey has found that people who are on a diet, attend the gym or own a Wii Fit have significantly healthier hands than regular people.
This has been largely attributed to the amount of self-righteous, pretentious facebook updates they post.

I finally joined up to Facebook.
So, when do I get to poke all those girls?

Girls page on bebo -
unless you are a weirdo, stalker or annoying,
you will be blocked and deleted.
Fire on lads.

I keep getting false notifications on Facebook. I'm notified of something, I get all excited and happy, I think ahead wondering what it could be, only to find out nothing's arrived.
Now I know how my wife felt after her miscarriage.

My little black book of past conquests is hidden in plain sight of my wife.
Thank you Facebook.

Zynga Games on Faceebook....
Keeping the unemployment figures at a high since 2006.

Farmville:
Making the lives of pathetic, sad, lonely people that little bit sadder since 2009.

My mate left his Facebook logged in, so I did what came naturally. I changed his status to ''James is deleting all of his friends who are black''. It wasn't only the fact that he was booted off the site which made him angry at me. It was the 20+ phonecalls he received immediatly after which wound him up the most. Some people just cant take practical jokes.

I wonder how many unread messages Madeleine McCann has?

Facebook now has over 500 million users. The previous record was heroin.

What do adopted kids drink?
Fosters

Nothing says I can't get a boyfriend like changing your Facebook relationship status to "married to another woman"

All my childhood dreams are comin true today, I've had friend requests off optimus prime, batfink, count duckula, she-raa, 3 of the thundercats and captain caveman

Mark Zuckerberg is Time Magazine's 'Person of the Year'. I found out on twitter.

A girl asked me if she knew me when I added her on FaceBook
Apparently "Yeah you saw me coming out of your dad's room with a gimp mask on" isn't what she was looking for.

Friends facebook status:
Rachel Briggs I'll b getting my tissues out tonight cos it's the kids christmas performance ;-)
You're not the only one love.......

I was sat on facebook earlier and the thought occured to me that I'd never poked anyone.
Maybe it's because I spend most of my life on the computer

Facebook !
Tracey Connelly, ...you have two new friends request,
click,
Add Karen Mathews as a friend?.
click,
Add Kate and Gerry as friends?.

Is it just me or is everyone else finding the "ban sickipedia" page on facebook incredibly funny?

So they're making a film about Facebook.
I wonder if anyone will like it?