I split up with my girlfriend last night.
Rather than announcing that we had broken up on Facebook, I simply deleted her and then requested her again.
When she accepted my request it stated that we were now friends.

You can learn a lot about people from Facebook.
Sarah Jones: is off for a bath
Comments
John Marsden: wave to the camera

I hate it when my friends list hundreds of their friends as siblings on facebook.
It scares me into thinking I've befriended an Ethiopian.

Instead of Facebook asking the status question "What's on your mind?" they should ask "What's your problem today?"

You know you have issues when Sickipedia is your homepage.

A Facebook page has been set up from a joke I made.
Now he wants me to confirm him as a friend since I am his father.

I was on facebook and I saw one of those banners at the side. It said "Rhianna's IQ is 117! Can you beat her?"
So I thought Chris Brown already did.

Someone just posted as a Facebook status "anyone know any nice creative activities to do with children?"
I've now learnt that suggesting a game of 'hide the sausage' is enough to get your account deleted

Social Networks- A bunch of people you know.
This Website- A bunch of people you wish you knew!

Facebook: "Curvy girls do it better...only a dog wants a bone!"
No, by joining this group you're just confirming you're a fat slag.

My wife said she's leaving me because of my addiction to Facebook,
I didn't comment, I just gave her a thumbs up.

You know you got issues when your mother comes top on your Facebook stalkers.

You know you have no life when you start setting your msn status to 'appear offline', just to make it seem to your friends you actually have something better to do.

I'm confused. I've looked at my friends' pictures, and their friends' pictures; and their friends' friends' pictures. Why are there no black people on facebook?

'Facebook adds new relationship statuses'.
They obviously didn't like my 'desperate' suggestion!

Sickipedia: Slowly helping to dig out every paedophile, racist or necrophiliac on the planet.

My girlfriend says that I've become very childish since becoming obsessed with Facebook.
Guess who I'm deleting as a friend?

Is it me or has every member of the "ban sickipedia" groups on facebook only joined to ridicule the creators...

Who else is only on facebook to see under-age girls in a bikini from their summer holiday?

Now that Facebook has made stalking easy and socially acceptable, I can't help thinking that if it were around 10 years earlier, Jill Dando would still be alive today.

That Facebook app, "Rapist of the Day"...
It can't be used as evidence in court, right?

You know you're addicted to Facebook when you start referring to yourself in the third person in real life.

With everyone changing their profile pic on facebook to a pic of their mom for mother's day, I've realized I have a lot of friends.
With MILFs.

I hope that Peter Harvey's victim has updated his Facebook status.
It specifically asks ''What's on your mind''.
That'll be a large block of lead then.

My therapist thinks my problems are down to the fact I spend too much time online.
At least thats what he wrote on my wall.