Heard from my mate that there was a girl on Facebook who put "Who fancies a riot?" as a joke on Facebook, and, as a result, she now faces a potential prison sentance.
"That's ridiculous" I told him, as I smashed another shop window.

On Facebook my wife recently joined the group, " Real men don't cheat on, lie to, or abuse women".
For a moment I was worried about my masculinity but luckily I remembered that I only abuse our children.

Following on from Facebook's enormous success, I've come up with a great idea that will enable people to track down old school friends and help them to get in contact with each other.
I'm going to call it "Telephonebook".

I love this time of year. The sun is out, the weathers warm, more importantly the holiday pictures are up!

No-one has sent me any videos to watch or pictures to look at on Facebook today.
Shares must be down.

Saw this on twibbon, they didn't need to tell us it was about america.
"We believe that America was founded on the principles of individual freedom, limited government, and a free market. We acknowledge that this is a republic and that WE are the majority. We will remain quite no longer."
13 supporters

Can we get more jokes that my yank friends on facebook can understand when they read my status?

Internet connection, 15.
Laptop, 300.
Course in computer programming, 3,000 a year.
Hacking your sister's Facebook to get to her nudes, priceless.
Some things in life, you can't buy, for everything else, there's mastercard.

Facebook page: "height, age, size, doesn't matter, aslong as the two people are happy!"
Trying using that in court.

i joined a social networking site for alcoholics the other day. Its called offyourfacebook

"Flying off to the sun? Get instant flight updates with Bing."
Why would anyone want to willingly fly into a giant flaming ball of hydrogen?

I think my Twitter account is run by a teenage fast food worker. Every time I log in it tells me: "The server understood the request, but is refusing to fulfill it".

Facebook thumbnails bring new meaning to the saying "pretty from far but far from pretty"...

If I had a penny for every time someone put 'I can't sleep' on Facebook. I would have enough to buy them some Nytol.

I see loads of people out there offering 'follow for follow' on Twitter but it appears Imogen Thomas is the only one offering 'swallow for follow'.

So thanks to facebook i now know it's christmas tomorrow.

If Twitter raised their character limit from 140 to 200, it would allow 90 million Germans to finish their sentence.

Paki name? - Check
Repeatedly updating status? - Check
Cartoon for profile picture? - Check
No. I wont add you as a friend Mohammed Khan.

Facebook
Helping ugly people stalk their crushes since 2004.

I know I have found a suitable young girl to target on facebook when I go on her profile and the I get the warning:
"This page contains some insecure content."

I'm a bit disappointed that "The Social Network" movie about Facebook didn't have an epic Farmville scene.

It looks as though Facebook are going to be sued for not letting their investors have access to some important information.
For once it looks like their privacy settings have actually worked.

I'm gonna be so happy to tell all my friends on Facebook I've lost a stone in just two weeks all thanks to HCG!

Just seen this facebook group ...
1 universe,
8 planets,
204 countries,
809 islands,
7 seas,
6 billion people..
and
I'M STILL SINGLE
Thats probably because you think theres 8 planets in the universe...

How about instead of posting your life story all over Facebook you get a diary?