My wife wants to leave me, she just doesn't appreciate the fact I get up at 3am every morning, work for hours. Watering the crops, feeding the animals.
That farmville is quite addictive.

Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes but nothing ever changes

My Dad came up to me the other day and said "son what's the point of this Facebook thing then?"
"Well," I replied, "I use it to find people I've fancied for years, friend them and then crack one off to their pictures.... But also it's a great way to keep in touch with friends and family......"
Wasn't too sure what to make of his friend request

So I created another one of those groups on Facebook, you know, about those things that you thought were something that only you did, but turns out that everyone does it.
I was expecting millions of people to see it, read its description, think "I do that", laugh, and then click "Join Group".
Turns out, I was the only one who "Loved it that I had pubic hair that was older than my girlfriend."

I too have just seen the facebook group where it says 'Treat your girlfriend as you would treat your Xbox'.
I've just sold mine on e-bay.

To the person who made the group "ALL WOMEN NEED TO READ THIS", thank you for giving me so many tips.

Shouldn't Facebook be updated to replace the relationship status "It's Complicated" with "In Denial" ?

I downloaded that 'Facebook Stalker' app. What a load of rubbish.
It didn't help me at all in my quest to find that girl who kind of smiled a bit at me at the bus stop 12 years ago, who I'm going to marry and be with forever.

I just saw a Facebook page called:"Boys should treat girls like they treat their Xbox & PS3"
What, sat on a shelf getting occasionally played with whilst talking to mates.

annoyingly, facebook seems to be the way of slowly welcoming sickipedia jokes into acceptable society
granted i'm being fairly loose on my use of 'acceptable scoiety'

Facebook
What's not to 'like'?

how annoying would it be if you got a MAIL every time you got a notification on facebook

Think we should have a two minute silence for girls everywhere who have lost their boyfriends to Call Of Duty.
... Can you make it longer? I'm trying to play!

This isn't a joke!
ha-ha look at what I just found on a r.i.p liam gill group on Facebook.
Louis Jones wrote
at 01:53 yesterday
R.I.P DUDA M8 I LOVED U KID DO ANYHTIN FOR YEH TO BE HERE WID ME NOW SMOKIN A BIG FAT SPLIF GOOD NIGHT GODBLESS XX
Says a lot about Liverpool.

My friends told me to change my Facebook language to Pirate
"It's hilarious!" they say.
I just don't get it though. I can't read Somalian.

I've decided to name my newborn baby boy 'Twitter'
I just hope it doesn't limit his character.

I now realise that creating an 'Ian Huntley Appreciation Society' group on Facebook was neither cool, funny or clever.

is stroking himself over Hannah Montana.
Oh! Sorry, I saw the amount of terrible jokes and thought I was on Facebook.

I asked Mark Zuckerberg for advice on how to become a millionaire.
He told me to invest a billion in Facebook.

Many scholars say English is one of the hardest languages to learn.
And it becomes more and more apparent every time I log onto Facebook.

People who say cleaning is the most boring thing on earth clearly never read small childrens parents facebook updates.

Twitter: The place where stalkers can have supervised visits with their victims...

How do you know when you've mastered a good joke on this site?
When you sign into Facebook and all your friends 'Like' the exact same one.

There's something better then facebook for woman.
It's called cookbook..........

I've been playing poker on Facebook.
So far I've poked 113 women, but not a one of them have poked me back.