I asked 100 people in the streets of London what one thing annoys them most.
85% said "Pointless surveys."

100% of divorces are caused by marriage.

I'm right 97% of the time, so who cares about the other 4%?

From Last.fm:
My Chemical Romance at Seattle, United States.
"1 person attended."
You just have to laugh at that.

Statically 9 out of 10 people enjoy stealing the first part of other peoples jokes.

Recent research suggest between 0% and 100% of statistics are useless due to inadequate research

I rate myself 7:3 on my understanding of statistics.

Over estimating works 99% of the time.

Recent studies have proven that children under the age of 16 are most likely to be the victims of child molestation

1/3 people slip maths into everyday conversation.

Statistically 1/3 of people don't agree with the other 2/3.

A recent study has shown that 100% of people in favour of birth control...
Have already been born.

Statistically speaking there are no women on the internet.
If you're a man then you're a man,
If you're a woman then you,re a man,
and if you are a child you are the FBI.

Statistically, 2 out of 3 people wonder where the 3rd person is.

So the Olympics are over and now it's time for a bunch of spastics to run around trying to entertain live on TV every night...
Yep, Big Brother is back.

If you laid all the politicians head to foot around the world, most would drown, some would get run over and a few woiuld get eaten by lions. Makes you think, doesn't it.

Statistically, 1 in 3 burglars...
is an eBay PowerSeller.

Actually, i`m well aware of that statistic.
Trouble is, my wife would be 1 of the 9..

Recent surveys show that 0% of the population lie when doing a survey.

Aaron Ramsey, now that's what I call a Deadly Strike.

If you give a chimpanzee a computer it could type at random and eventually produce one of Shakespeare's plays.
If you give a black man a computer he would sell it for drugs.

Research has shown Agatha Christie was the first Brit to surf standing up. It also shows we've run out of things to research.

They say one in five friends are alzheimer suffering murderers.
I don't know which one of my friends it is though, they've all gone missing recently.

Statistically 2 in 1 people prefer Spit-Roasts.

I was one of the 500,000 people at Woodstock back in '69
Lucky I went too, otherwise there would only have been 499,999.