It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.
Until one side mysteriously disappeared.

Astrology: because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let her know that she'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."

Statistically, 13 out of 13 triskaidekaphobics will be scared of this joke.

*Food hits floor*
Little Germs: 'Let's get it!'
King Germ: 'No, we must wait 5 seconds!'

You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror?
Try breaking a condom.