Astrology: because millions of planets and stars have spent billions of years lining themselves up just to let her know that she'll "meet someone with nice eyes today."

It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.
Until one side mysteriously disappeared.

Easiest job in the world - Muslim psychic
"I'm getting an 'M'...... Does the name 'Mohammed' mean anything to anyone in the room?"

My mate asked me if I believed in reincarnation.
I said, "Absolutely. Ever since my wife died I feel like I've been born again."

I want you all to know that this will be my last joke on here because I am going to die at midnight tonight as a result of not forwarding chain mail.