Suicide.
Putting the end into Bridgend.

Is it actually possible for Stevie Wonder to give his wife a good seeing to?

I didn't know what to say earlier when a young man with downs syndrome punched me in the face.
I was dumbstruck.

My favourite position is the duplicate:
Someone's already beaten you to it but you try to get in there somewhere anyway!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

I used to work in a Fishmongers.
But I was fired after a misunderstanding when somebody told me to "Bone the Salmon."

If Akmal Shaikh 'died a hero', does that make his wife a Heroine?

BBC News - "Saudi women win court access."
Can't see them making much impact at Wimbledon.

My wife said she found it 'incredible' that I had been cheating on her for 15 years with her own sister.
I thanked her for the compliment.

My mum said I used to cry wolf a lot as a child, but what did she expect?
It was her who took me to Gladiators and she knew he was my favourite.

My wife told me I don't know how to take criticism.
That was sweet of her.

I bought a Goldfish the other day.
It was Orange

This joke was written while I was in Paris.
She kept telling me to turn the laptop off though.

Being jobless.
I can see the benefits..

I don't know what the fuss is about,
It's been nine years to the date,
and i still don't know what happen on the 9th of November

These Tetley's extra strong teabags are a waste of money.
They still rip just as easily as the normal ones.

I've got a job at a restaurant for cannibals.
I'm the head chef.

I used to play conference football.
I got thrown out of a few boardroom meetings though.

My friend Neil was telling me that when spelling words, the letter "I" comes before the letter "E" except after "C"

Yesterday I was arrested for stealing helium balloons.
The police held me for a while, then just let me go.

BBC News: Anti-Semetic cats stage Military Coup in Germany.
It's the Furred Reich.

My grandma won big at the bingo last night.
Weird prize, but one of Tom Hanks better movie roles if you ask me.

I opened up a business selling trampolines to Eastern Europeans, but it's not going well... the Czechs keep bouncing.

Better use a latex because you don't want to get that "I'm Late Text."

I have six words for you