I used to work in a circus as the human cannonball.
But I left after they fired me.

I was nervous at first, but once i felt it easily slide down the back of my throat, I jammed the rest in.
Circus Sword Swallower seems like a natural transition after college.

I was stuck on the M6 behind a huge lorry carrying a fairground ride doing 20mph yesterday.
Everyone was screaming at him but he wouldn't go any faster.

A clown was taking the mickey out of me earlier so I said to him,
'you're dead, funny!'
He said, 'thanks.'
So I shot him in the chest.

I got an email from a circus the other day but I couldn't open the attachment.
Apparently it had been created with a dopey acrobat.

Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker...
I used to look up to him...

My dad raised me single handedly when I was a child.
But that's life when your born into a family of circus acrobats.

My girlfriend is leaving me because she thinks I'm a buffoon.
So, with a heavy heart, I selected the most depressing of my 'unhappy horns' and honked the saddest of honks.
"Honk".

My wife was a great sword-swallower in the circus when we met.
Not my choice, but her amazing talent soon became neglected shortly after our wedding.

A man decides to join the circus.The ringmaster agrees to watch his act in the big top to see if he is suitable.
The man climbs a tall tower and jumps off flapping his arms wildly.After a few seconds his fall slows and he soars forward,swoops up,turns and stops in mid air then gently glides to the ground.He turns and smiles at the ringmaster, ' what do you think, ' says the man.
The ringmaster looks unimpressed and replies, ' Is that all you can do,bird imitations? '

I was supposed to pick up seven professional clowns today.
But I couldn't find a car small enough.

I used to get this funny feeling when I was a kid.
I was molested by a clown on a daily basis.

The midget human cannonball missed his target killing the bearded lady in the process.
It was a freak accident.

BBC News: "Cameron to work with soleil stars".
Makes sense, the clown joining the acrobats, completes the circus act.

I had a friend who was a clown.
When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

My new girlfriend is a tightrope walker. She keeps asking me to check her equipment and repair it if there is a fault.
I am enjoying our relationship but I didn't realise it would be so high maintenance.

Just mugged a couple of clowns outside the circus.
I told them not to try anything stupid.

What is the difference between the armed forces and a circus?
In the circus you don't have to salute the clowns.

If red bull gave me wings I'd hover above a farm and mock chickens

I just saw this idiot with bright red hair, going down the road on a unicycle whilst juggling.
What a clown!

How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit it in the face with an axe.

I saw some tightrope walkers the other day.
What a weird flavour for a packet of crisps.

I'm doing community service at a funfair but today I stole a wobbly mirror.
I just hope it doesn't reflect badly on me.

I have just been offered a job as a clown.
My boss told me the other guy was good.
Seems to me I'll have some big shoes to fill.

It was such a shame to hear that the human cannonball that lost his life the other day.
His career was just taking off.