Went to the school nurse the other day to get an ice pack for my leg, she asked me if I knew how it worked.
I said of course, it's a simple exothermic reaction.

Science, Or, the way things worked before we invented God

BBC News: Higgs boson results cause flurry
So that's how McDonald's make them

I was trying to post a joke about Neon.
I couldn't think of Ne...

Scientists should use an internet tool to see if life exists on the newly discovered "twin planet".
Just use Google Kepler 22-b.

I met my archaeologist wife on an online dating site.
It's called carbondating.com

I don't trust photons.
They've all got multiple personality disorders

My science teacher said I had lots of potential today.
He then pushed me off a roof.

Newton's law of motion... by Hooke or by crook?

Scientists have discovered that chickens are closely related to humans
i don't agree, i've never had a chicken breast with a nipple.

Let's go back to simple mechanics for a moment.

I really need to come up with a way of remembering which trig function to use when resolving forces on my mechanics paper, cos at the moment i have to draw the thing out!

After the recession hit, I invested all my money in Jodrell Bank.
The interest isn't great but their call centre is out of this world.

You can be in the copper team or the aluminium team, but there is no iron team.

I've got my telescope out and I'm hoping to spot some lovely big aureola tonight.
The woman across the street has got cracking nipples.

Spent so long today trying to think of a good electricity joke my head hertz!

What did Magnesium say to Calcium?
We've got good chemistry!
I can tell from your face that it was not a good reaction.
I think this joke needs another element.

Why did the particle physicist sell his Volkswagen Golf and buy a GTI?
He was looking for an improved replacement for the Standard Model.

I will be sticking to my old Gillette Fusion razor and not upgrading to the Gillette Fusion Proglide as I prefer a more strenuous "tug and pull".

Einstein was the superman of physics:
"With great power, comes a higher ratio of current to voltage."

Earlier someone threw a load of NaCl at me, I Said "Hey that's a salt,".

I am Still working on my Periodic Table jokes, my 79th was pure gold but I'm hoping to reach 82 so I can get a new Pb.

Am I the only person that finds it ironic that DVDs released by Universal are regionally encoded

organic chemistry is difficult, people who study it have alkynes of trouble

Scientists have discovered that fish only have three second memories.
So, one step closer to curing cancer then!