I was gonna post a joke about something that made me smile last week, but couldn't log on.
Oh well, it'll have probably been buried by now anyway.

When you're at a pop concert and you look around to see everyone holding their lighters in the air, that's when you know you picked a bad time to go crowd-surfing.

I hate people who speak for other people, and so do you.

Here's an idea for in the future Greggs.Why not put a sticker on your ham salad sandwiches along the lines of :
"May or may not contain traces of ham"

A policeman stopped me earlier.
"Do you know why I've pulled you over?"
I said, "Because my tyres look like doughnuts?"