Just been shopping at Farmfoods,
got three bales of hay and a bucket of pig swill.

My senile mate keeps knocking on his own front door, Then going round the back to answer it. Don't think he knows what his letting himself in for.

Man goes to see the doctor.
The doctor says "you'll live to be seventy"
The patient said "I am seventy "
The doctor said "what did I tell you!"

It's just been announced that Amy Winehouse overdosed using Ketamine...what were the odds of that, 2-1 I wonder..shame she didn't hold out for the Grand National.

It's always been a pipedream of mine to quit my job and work in an arcade but I'm scared of change