Farmville:
Making the lives of pathetic, sad, lonely people that little bit sadder since 2009.

"Jo Yeates' body was missing sock."
And, more importantly, a pulse.

My girlfriend has been sat staring at an empty can of Pepsi for an hour wondering when she is going to get her free sugar.

My friend's mum was a wrestler, and she gave birth to him during a match.
He was born out of headlock.

"Worker dies in Forth Bridge fall"
I'm just amazed he survived the first three.