I took part in a cannibal cookery contest yestery and was trouncing the opposition.
In fact, I was steaming a head.

The day that Microsoft creates a product that doesn't suck is the day that they venture into the vacuum cleaner industry

Babysitter
Best Friend's Sister
Female Colleague
Neighbour's Wife
Wife's Best Friend
That's me got my affairs in order.

People give chuggers a hard time, but the job is not easy. I have enormous sympathy for them, so, every so often, I make eye contact.

My parents had strange views when it came to dogs
they said we could get a puppy and if we didn't like it we can just abandon it,
my foster parents however...