Two prison inmates together, one says ''I've got two tickets to the wardens ball, do you want one?'',
''No thanks, I cant dance'' the other replied.
The first one replied ''It's not a dance, Its a raffle''

My wife said she wanted to put something special on tonight.
I suggested the oven.

My wife and I agreed that we had to set aside our mistakes for the sake of our marriage.
We're putting them up for adoption tomorrow.

I went to Uni to learn about being single.
Got a bachelors degree

I've banned my two children from using Sickipedia.
All the racism, abuse and paedophilia is bad enough, but for them to have to know I brag about it would just be unfair.