No thanks Aero, if I really wanted to "feel the bubbles", I'd just jump into the bath with my daughter like normal.

The best thing about being single is sleeping around.
You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours: left, right, middle, whatever.

Honestly, people these days are so rude. I got so much abuse the other day for not giving up my seat on the bus for a heavily pregnant woman.
I argued my case but it only seemed to make it worse when I explained how much more difficult it was to use my iPad standing up.

My mate came running up to me shouting, "Steve.....Don't Move!!"
"Why?!" I said frozen.
"In this dwindling market, it's unlikely you will make a return on your investment"

The other day I went to Office Max to get some supplies. While there I bought a new ink cartridge for my printer. It came in a fairly large box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic.
When I took it apart, which took an unnecessarily long time, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small. It seems they made the packaging large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.
So I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how my weight gain over the years of our marriage should have the same effect It made me seem more valuable and also made me harder for other women to steal. Shes still laughing.