Facebook now lets you put a star on the friends you want to follow more closely. I was going to do this but realised that's what hitler did.

SKY NEWS: Woman found after seven weeks lost in the wild, she had survived on Snow and Water.
So, just Water then?

I was holding on to our new born baby a little too much recently. My missus told me to put him down. I think saying "you're small, ugly and smell" wasn't quite what she meant.

What's the point of rhetorical questions?
Yes.

I used to work in a circus as the human cannonball.
But I left after they fired me.