I called in to rent a DVD on the way home.
"Hi," I said "I'm looking for a good horror film."
He said, "I've got just the thing."
I said, "That's no good, I've seen it."

I saw a wanted add in my local paper for van drivers/delivery drivers.
The add stated "must be White and less than 5 years old."
Sick racist peadophiles.

I've found a website where, if you log on to it, they give you a free chain.
I'll send you the link.

You know music's bad when parodies are better than the original.

I always pack a carton in my son's bag...
The kids at his school pay top prices for cigarettes.