The Guardian is now confirming that Gaddafi was "killed in cold blood".
I'd rather die in warm custard.

My Grandad always used to say, 'When you're in a hole, stop digging.'
That's probably why he got shot trying to escape from Auschwitz.

At the end of the night I dropped a girl off at her house and thought I'd try my luck.
"Aren't you going to invite me in for a cup of tea?" I asked.
"Of course I'm not!" she shouted, getting out of my taxi.

I got the order from head office, to fire three of my staff.
I wrote out the letters of redundancy, and sent them to the unlucky ones.
One particular girl would not go quietly, and burst into my office upon hearing the news.
"How can you just fire me? I've worked here for 12 years! I've barely ever taken a sick day, and I work my hardest every day."
I said to her, "Hold on now, imagine you were in my position for a second....
Feels good not worrying about finding a new job, doesn't it?"

'Love is like a river, let it flow free.'
Love is like a river, usually someone with more money than you will be able to divert its course.