I guess its ok to leave baby in the corner now.

My mate said the drink I bought him tasted funny.
It was a cheap shot.

People are going on about how the date 10/10/10 only comes once in 100 years.... umm doesn't the date 9/10/10 or 11/10/10 also only come once every 100 years?

A woman walks up to a handsome man in a nightclub and shouts: 'Fat penguin!'
'Pardon?' he says, looking bemused.
'Sorry,' she replies. 'I was just trying to think of something that would break the ice.'

The wife asked me today what I saw in her.
I told her to shut up and keep still until I'd finished taking the x-ray.