Two worms stood in a cue.
One says "Can you smell wood?"

Wanted to do something for Comic Relief this year as i have never donated before, so i decided to donate a tenner for every goal Torres scored for Chelsea between him signing for them and today.
Oh well, maybe next time

When I see an article that shows a celebrity wearing the same outfit twice, I get furious and blow up a hospital

I'm a bomb disposal expert.
They go in the grey, non recycling bins.

Did you know, if you took all of the obese people from England & all of the obese people from America & put them in one place, that place would be Disneyland.