Nose constantly running?
Feet smelling all the time?
Then you were probably built upside down.

My wife left me because I think that everything is ironic.
Which was ironic.

I cheated on my wife and now she says shes going to leave me, because 'I keep making subtle jokes about it'
I said ' Thats affair point'.

BBC News: Overtaking death driver sentenced.
I really want to know how to overtake death.

My mates told me I suck at pessimism...
but maybe I will be better at it tomorrow.