My Granddad used to tell me that there was a secret code that would make an egg open itself.
He said, "All you have to do is crack it"

Women, if you eat out by yourself
I'd like to join you,
you're very flexible.

I shouldn't of started that food fight.
Now i've got a bit of a pickle on my hands.

While at the zoo, my wife was molested by 4 monkeys, 2 orangutans & a chimp.
Poor woman's been gang-aped..

I just bought some chicken and there was a sticker on the packaging saying ' RSPCA Approved.'
Does anybody else see the irony of the RSPCA approving the slaughtering of birds?