Officer: "I'm going to have to give you a warning."
Driver: "Fine."
Officer: "If thats what you want."

I asked my doctor if he thinks I'm over my obsession with Tipperary.
He said "there's still a long way to go"

My friend went to a camouflage exhibition yesterday.
I'll have to ask him how he found it.

My wife said she's leaving me because I look like Carlos Tevez.
Fair enough.

What are we going to get our kids now the go go hamsters are said to have cancerous toxins in them?
If only there was something hamster like that moved about, we could even put it in a ball to run around the front room and at night it could sleep in a cage.
If only...