A girl who worked in my restaurant cut her finger off today.
"Quick!" she shouted, "get me some frozen peas from the freezer"
"We've only got frozen carrots" I replied, "I'll just run to the shop and get some."

Many people see Shakespeare as the greatest literary of all time.
Not me though, his most famous line " To be or not to be, that is the question?"
I think he was just trying to decide which pencil to use.

morning glory just isn't the same without a smile on the end of it... so make yourself useful mum.

Although I've enjoyed the last eighteen years of work, calibrating the nudge function of pub fruit machines..
I've put my career on hold for a while.

I'm getting absolutely fed up by all these sick birds being brought over to England to be cured cheaply by our expert vets.
It's high time the government did something to clamp down on these ill eagle immigrants.