My mate just asked me what my pulse rate was.
"70 pence for a tin of kidney beans." I replied.

I was trying to sell my digital camera online when someone asked me to upload a picture of it
How?!

My girlfriend said baked potatoes would be healthier for me than cakes.
We'll see. I'm just icing the potato now.

Hmm... Revising...
There's quite a bit to learn in Biology...
But that's life, I guess...

I can't believe how stupid that Post Office clerk was.
He said that my parcel was too heavy and that I needed to put more stamps on it.
Like that's going to make it lighter.